( what? no. stop that. mako immediately swings his gaze around to study. something else, some crumbling architectural marvel, where the only marvel at all is that this place is still intact enough that they can occupy it without it crumbling around their ears. a firebender always knows heat, and he can feel the crawl of it on his skin. he doesn't think he's properly blushed in years.
he's in the locker rooms with the other guys all the time. if he can handle it when beifong walks in like she owns the place and everyone jumps to attention regardless of the status of clothing or towels, he can put up with one airbender — a criminal stripping down in his vicinity.
but. he does spare a sideways glance for those scars.
mako's been roughed up plenty. his left arm up to the elbow is a fractured lichtenberg pattern, loudly proclaiming the pathways of least resistance that lightning took beneath his skin as it cooked the meat of him from the inside out. and he has a few others, knife-wounds, places where bolin winged him with sharp little discs of rocks during their training. mostly, what he's gotten in the last few years korra's healed or he's ignored.
dick's body is a graveyard of remembered hurts. a few burns that draw the eye, and make him clench his hands involuntarily. but the vast majority aren't bending injuries at all. and they're sure as hell things an airbender should have been able to avoid, cuts and stab-marks, stuttering suggestions of a blade along the parapets of his ribs. it tells a story, but mako doesn't have the cipher yet. the characters aren't in a language he knows how to read. but he knows suffering when he sees it, and years of pain, and everything else inherent in the map of all this misery. and it's not like they're all fresh, either. dick's his age, roughly, and these date back at least ten years. maybe more.
the reaction that caused him to blush suddenly feels very childish, and completely out of place. mako closes his eyes briefly, pulling himself back to center. )
Even if I were crooked, there wouldn't be much you could do about it. You still can't know for sure.
( beifong runs a tight ship, and most of the officers under her are afraid of her — with good reason. but mako knows there are... things that fall through the cracks. they don't live in a perfect world, and a cop's wages sure aren't as flush as a criminal's. he has his suspicions about a few of his brothers and sisters in arms because he knows how it goes. you take a bribe once, and that's it. the triads own you. and then they remind you again, and again, and again, and if you ever try to pull back from it, they threaten not just you, but your family. everyone you love. and you capitulate, or you die. mako had to walk a tightrope just to stay more-or-less on decent terms with the triple threats even after he became a cop, because he knows that they'd never go after him. it'd be straight to bolin, or asami. they wouldn't touch korra, they know all too well how easily she'd win that fight. but the others... even talented fighters can be overwhelmed by sheer numbers. it's something mako lives in constant fear of. it's. one of the reasons he hasn't gone as hard after them as he could. maybe as he should have. )
Uh-uh. ( dick disagrees, flashing mako a charming grin. ) I'm a really good judge of character.
( he just knows these things, like the wind knows a chill's name on the back burn of a breeze - he could pick a crook out at a hundred paces, just by the look in their eye. mako doesn't have the same type of swagger. that's not to say he radiates a good boy type of personality, because you could see the wear and tear of a burdened life weighing down his shoulders into an expected frown, but there are things that even a life of hardship can't conceal - the genuine gleam of goodness resting in the shine of mako's eyes, something like hope layered on top of it's (un)healthy dosage of exhaustion. he sees a man before him who still wants to see the good in people, despite being shown all the ways in which people have steered off the path of righteous peace. he also sees an orphan who ate up a lot of trauma as a kid, and just wants to spit out something nicer than what he was given.
profoundly, dick relates to this.
clothes settled into place, dick takes lengthy, floating steps over to where mako is seated, and plops down just beside him. dick's attire is humble, but his cologne is expensive. )
I have a present for you. Do you want it? ( blushing, ) I won't get sad if you say no, but you'll want to say yes.
( mako all but throws his hands up into the air. for him, this means: he probably puffs out a breath that's miraculously clear of steam, rolls his eyes very faintly and then just rolls himself up in a full body shrug. in the common vernacular of body language, 'why the fuck not'. )
Sure. Go nuts.
( it could be a thousand things, the least of which is a trap. but. there wouldn't be any point. his guard isn't down, but. he's called for a cessation of immediate suspicion, which is about as close as mako ever gets around someone who isn't bolin or korra and asami on... good days. he doesn't think it's anything dangerous, but given what he knows of airbenders... maybe a prank. the one thing he doesn't think dick is is thoughtless.)
( with a short point to himself: ) Dick Grayson. ( and then he smacks a kiss on mako's cheek.
it's a name he'll be familiar with, just in it's existence rather than any substantial knowledge on the subject - there are easy facts that are well known among gossip tabloids. bruce wayne's ward, a man in the limelight who keeps his kids out of it. really, there's no proof dick has other than word of tongue, but based on mako's earlier criteria - a wealthy benefactor, intimate knowledge of the city - it makes a decent amount of sense that it should be true. whether he believes it is up to him, but you know.
at least he has something to call dick, now. he leans back on his palms again, looking warmly back at him. )
( all non-essential systems just. shut down. mako goes into auxiliary power mode, where his heart beats and his lungs inflate and all the goopy, squishy organs inside his body sluice blood through the meat of him but he's not. home. for a split second.
dick grayson.
he knows the name, he knows the implication. what he doesn't know is the why. he was never going to get that close on his own, because even if he'd guessed that bruce wayne — one of asami's biggest rivals after varrick — was letting his son run around at night capture criminals, he wouldn't have put it together.
and dick seals it with a kiss against his cheek, a spot that feels firebender-hot now to the touch, and mako just. rubs. at it. a little more softly than he might had it been anyone else. because dick just handed him the keys to the kingdom, really. he has everything he needs to march up to wayne manor, kick the door in and handcuff him, drag him out into the street and to the station without so much as a by-your-leave. he knows he's an airbender, and how to counter that.
(chains. you have to put them in chains.)
his brain circles back around to the earlier criteria of date.
then, almost in an accusatory tone, strangled and a little. high-pitched. )
You were serious about that date thing.
( all signs say yes. mako's love life has only three speeds: people throwing themselves at him, people ignoring him, or people hating him after he inevitably fucks it all up. he hasn't quite worked out the whole... attraction thing, because mostly he just crushes hard on people he can't have and that's the end of it. )
Why?
( as if he isn't sure if he should be questioning dick's taste or his sanity. it's so bizarre. bruce wayne's sons could have anyone. this is the thing that feels like a trick, to him. )
( he's minutely proud of his development here, because he managed to both sit very close to mako and give him a little kiss, which he thinks would've otherwise gotten him a face full of fire bombs at any moment prior. but. he's quick to pout after mako makes his confusion known, head tilted to the side, windswept bangs falling into his eyes, which he swiftly rights with a hand sifted through his hair. )
I've answered that already. I like you. You want another answer, is that it? Let's see ...
( there's an evident truth, poised delicately on the tip of his tongue like dick grayson before any of his daring leaps of faith off building ledges. he hesitates to bring it up. it's not - weakness, exactly, but it is an extended hand, an offer that would ... hurt, frankly, if mako were to deny or ignore it. it wouldn't be entirely his fault, to be honest. dick isn't used to the sensation of welcoming people in, all too frequent a friend of misguiding conversations away from the serious, ducking and diving under playful language when the going gets too tough.
he kind of says a mental fuck it to all that, though, and shrugs his shoulders. )
I don't have a lot of people I'm close to, really. I guess I kind of clung to you.
( it sounds. lonely. and sad, and faraway, and if dick thinks mako is some benchmark for goodness and decency in the world, boy, does he have news for him. and several people to introduce him to.
but he's. been handed something precious, and mako just doesn't have it in him to crush it. he doesn't like disappointing people. bolin really had that one right, all those years ago, didn't he? he takes a deep breath. )
Dick... ( he has a name, now. it's a bit of a thrill, using it. ) I'm flattered. Really. But you barely know anything about me, and you're... well, kind of a criminal. Even though I believe your intentions are good, the law's something I've sworn my life to upholding. I can't. Ignore that.
( it isn't disappointing. the term isn't in his mental dictionary when it comes to other people, because the only person he's ever actively disappointed in is himself. and. maybe he is. this whole situation would disappoint bruce, after all, and the thought of it makes unhappiness churn in his stomach like he ate too many bowls cereal in rapid succession. he's putting a lot of people in danger, with this. he wonders if mako knows just how many. )
You know, if you really had to know someone before you were allowed to like them, then no one would ever like anyone.
( he vaguely wiggles his shoulders, countering the foundation of mako's argument. it's not like he proposed marriage, or anything. he's just looked at mako and only seen things that he likes. )
And anyway, I know a lot about you. Obviously I've done my research. ( mako's been fairly in the spotlight in the last few years, with his connections to the avatar, and knack for saving the world as they know it. it isn't, or at least wasn't, hard to find him in the newspaper, first in his pro bending days, and then in his glory day of heroics. dick's read up on every archive he can, really. ) The point is that I've got an entire police force on my tail at any given time, but I've only taken an interest in you.
Conclusion: I like you! You can't tell me I don't. It's obvious, Mako. Open those pretty eyes.
( constantly in motion, on someone else it'd be fidgeting, but on dick it's just. a lace curtain blowing in the wind, following the flow of life. he leans back on his palms, chin on his shoulder, a sleazy smile tugged up his lips. )
And while we're at it, I really don't consider myself a criminal. Alright? What else have you got? I can sling back and forth with you all day, but really, I'd prefer to just kiss you some more.
(who are you trying to convince? except, the answer is obvious. mako's fingers bunch in the fabric of his coat, which rucks up under the grip. he's. conflicted. pretty obviously, by his posture. by his. everything. conflict is the default mako state, he's existed in it pretty much ceaselessly since he was a kid. do the illegal and/or dangerous thing, put food on the (well, rarely a table, but) for bolin. help korra, help asami, save the world. he had to choose, sometimes, which master to serve. love or duty. and duty mostly won.
he's not so good at following his heart. it's gotten him in pretty deep trouble over the years, and rarely out of it. mako can't return the affections, not like this. dick has been nothing but a frustration to him for weeks, he only just learned his name. that's not a basis for anything real. it's barely a basis to be here now, talking to him absent the jangling of cuffs.
not that he has his cuffs, anyway. he used them on the mooks in the store.
but it's. been a long time since anyone reached out to him like this. mako has modeled himself on beifong but he doesn't want to be like her, alone and bitter and buried in his work. he misses love. being in love, having someone to kiss and say soft things to. just because he wasn't good at it doesn't mean his brief experiences with it weren't. some of the best of his life.
he's too controlled to let fire spark under his hands, but he can feel the building thrum of it beneath the skin, coiled like a quiescent thing. alive, waiting. that's what a lot of non-benders don't realize about fire, it's not about letting it out, it's about keeping it in. you have to want to control it. you have to need to endure it, because the second there's an outlet and the slightest slip of your hands, you can burn the world to iron and ash at your feet. he's wished more than once, over the years, that dragons never gave fire to humanity. all they've done is ruin what could have been — should have been a gift. the element of power, but also one of death and war and pain and loss. he wears his heritage like a scar.
and all he can think about as he looks down at his hands is how air feeds it. and how its absence extinguishes. and then he bridges the small space between them, cups dick's cheeks in his hands and kisses him. in another life, maybe it would be a passionate thing, heat and fire and cinders, heat beneath his palms. but this one is just. tentative, like walking a tightrope in a storm. trying to find balance. )
it probably isn't fair for dick to say he's surprised. he did, literally, ask for it. he still doesn't think it's coming, even when mako has his hands on either side of his face, even when there's only a hair's breath between their mouths, and he can taste the hesitance of mako's lips, and mako can taste the surety on his own. it's only when that short line is crossed that dick has any inclination towards how much he actually wanted to kiss him. he didn't notice his hands balling up to not move forward too much too fast, didn't realize the clench in his jaw that actively kept him from slamming his mouth up against mako's. but. a single kiss lets it all be known, aired out in the space between them like embers flying off a campfire when you blow on the wood. the tension dissolves, parted into the wind. dick is less a person and more an element, the chemical construct of their molecules meeting and melting together.
air didn't always inspire fire. at the dawn of time, fire had to accept it first, and set a precedent for the forever ages of science. if dick thinks about it, it's a pretty sweet love story.
but he isn't thinking about it. or much of anything, really, other than the heat exuding off mako like a furnace and how comforting he finds that, placing a hand innocently on mako's waist, the other wrapping around his wrist. just holding him there, soft and sure. if mako's kiss was a question, dick's returning one is an answer - and the only answer is yes, to whatever he's got.
it isn't a heavy kiss, so when they part, it isn't with panting breaths. dick just turns his head to kiss the center of his palm, blushing a little goofily into it. he really didn't think mako would do that. )
Do you want to go on the roof? It's a little more romantic. ( it definitely has to be a date now, right. he gets a little more boisterous in his grin, kissing mako's wrist. ) Although, I think I've pretty much got the best seat in the house, looking at you.
( the last time he kissed anyone, it was saying goodbye to korra and the sum of their relationship. it was a sad, somber thing. filled with love, but. final. this is the opposite of that, questing and alight, alive with an inquisitive nature and ripe with possibility. of which, fruit has fallen from the bow of laden branches, it's a carpet on a forest floor. that moment in time between rotten and delectable. there is so much in that one gentle press of the lips he knows he's going to be thinking it over later, staring at the ceiling of his apartment, wondering what else he could have done.
duty chases at his heels. a guilty tattoo like beaten drums. it's not quite sleeping with the enemy, but.
he lifts his eyes to dick as he sits back, palm tingling where he pressed his mouth against it. such a soft, worshipful gesture, and mako just. doesn't feel worthy of it, right now.
up on the roof, he asks, as if setting whatever this is now between them free into the night sky and the sparks of a coming dawn is an inevitable conclusion. the rising sun is meant to energize firebenders. most of the ones he knows are morning people, very few of them abide the empty night. it's a siren song. yet right now, he feels. such an odd, swelling dichotomy of things. he's tired, but he isn't interested in sleep. his hand aches, but he feels light. guilt is a shackle, but it's the only thing keeping him anchored.
he's just so fucking confused. he shakes his head, though he doesn't have it in him to reclaim his wrist as dick kisses it. )
I need you to stop interfering with police business. Don't be coy. I know you know what I mean.
( it's a soft thing, feigned disappointment, although dick really couldn't be unhappy if he tried. mako kissed him! he feels the same way he felt when he first stuck a landing without the guide of airbending, and his mother and father both called him robin for how he flew. his stomach feels done up in the same number of excited, exhilarated knots, all tangled like vines going down his throat. he can't seem to wipe the smug look off his face, endlessly pleased, even with the distance now between them. dick won't see it last. he shrugs his shoulder, free hand moving up to cup mako's cheek. )
You don't sound like you're willing to compromise. ( mako is taller than him, but dick is thicker in every aspect. he cranes into him, foreheads almost touching, keeping mako situated beside him. ) You want something? Give something up. That's how this works.
( really, he just wants to take mako out on a date - date date, gross rundown buildings aside. still, he'll hear out whatever dumb offering mako has, and quietly correct his thought process later. )
( it sparks a moment's anger in him, the softly lit candle of gentle feelings and warm regard gutters and goes out. mako bats his hand away, rearing back. his expression has gone hard, jaw set. )
If you know a lot about me like you said, then you should know that just being here is a compromise.
( he hadn't meant for it to sound hurt, but it does. he hasn't bothered discussing his feelings with. anyone, for a while. not since korra left for the spirit world, where he told her he would follow her into any war across any world, any lifetime. since then he's just been. a cop. a brother, sometimes. but mostly a cop, with no personal attachments, no personal time and certainly nothing resembling romance. he wasn't articulate to begin with, but now he's so rusty he may as well be learning from the ground up. cool under fire, and yet — )
Everything I am is telling me to arrest you. I'm not. That's my compromise. I'm not even telling you you can't keep doing what you're doing, I just want you to do it by the books. You told me that's what you like about me; that I'm not crooked. You don't think you're a criminal, but according to the laws I swore to uphold? Yeah, you are. What you're asking me to do is accept a bribe. I don't care if it's not money, it's still. Something. And then I, what, look the other way? Don't put that on me. You're asking more of me than you can imagine.
( he doesn't dare stay in mako's space longer than he's welcome. it's with a sigh that he pulls himself back, cradling his cheek in his palm, elbows braced on his folded legs. as far as experience goes, dick is absolute as out of his element as he would be with rock on his palms for the day. and while he knows mako isn't as unversed in romantic inclinations as he is - mako's had two very public relationships, okay, dick didn't stalk him or anything - there's something else amiss there. age old wounds he keeps picking at until they bleed, maybe. the pain of thinking you destroy the things that you touch.
dick relates. this isn't that, but he gets it. )
Mako. ( softly, and then louder. ) Mako, I was flirting with you. I wasn't serious.
( maybe dick is the one who's not being clear. his eyebrows knit together, turning his hand to crack his knuckles on his chin.
if this is what mako would prefer to talk about, then fine. dick's visage droops into something more introspective, something more solemn. they're at least this far in agreement - emotions are hard. )
You don't really see me as a criminal, do you? ( it's more than a little upsetting. ) All I want to do is help people. Even if I did join the police force, I think I'd still keep up this persona, because. There's just some people the police can't help. Following the books doesn't always save lives. That's my priority. If that makes me a criminal, then I guess I'm a criminal.
( how is that. how was that. that isn't flirting. of all the things mako never expected to encounter, it was someone that was actually worse than he is at the whole... flirting thing. next thing you know, dick will be telling him his sharp outfit can pierce battleship hulls.
mako rubs at the bridge of his nose. he knows dick sounds. hurt. but he also doesn't seem to get the seriousness of the situation. somewhere in all of this, mako has gotten back to his feet, hands clenched. he's angrier than he realized he was. yelling is a poor man's catharsis, so he doesn't quite resort to that, but he does raise his voice a little, hating that he does. )
You beat up Republic City citizens and dump them on our doorstep. It isn't up to you to be the judge of what's right and what's wrong, that's why jurisprudence exists in the first place. I know that you're catching criminals. But every person you've brought in, we've had to release because we don't have any evidence of their wrongdoing! And every time I've brought you in for assault and battery and police obstruction, you escape. Evading arrest is a crime too, you know!
( he has to draw a breath. it's. an effort. he does, he realizes, genuinely like dick. he hasn't sorted out how he feels about kissing him yet, but he knows he's a good person with his heart in the right place, even if the rest of him maybe isn't. )
I know you mean well. But you're making it harder for me to do my job. And frankly? It's incredibly naive of you to think you're making a difference. All you're doing is sabotaging the system in a way that benefits the criminals you're trying to take down.
( he can't. be here anymore. talking about this, talking like this. he's mad at dick and at himself for even coming here in the first place, he needs air and to feel the sun on his skin, he needs coffee and a fucking cigarette and about ten years of sleep. )
( naive of you to think you're making a difference.
more than anything, that resonates with him. he kind of zones out the rest to be perfectly honest, focusing on that with a laser point accuracy that would make an sharpshooter fear for their lives. he only ever wanted to help. no, he didn't want to help the police, because at the end of all things, he doesn't trust the system it was built upon. perhaps in its infancy it worked, but when people learn methods, they learn loopholes, and the concept of the police has been exploited on, now. from inside as much as the outside. he doesn't want to make mako's job harder, but he can't just sit by and do nothing. he won't.
he responds too late when mako says he should go, lost in his own thoughts. when he realizes something's been said, he snaps back, smiling apologetically. ) Huh? Oh, yeah. ( he doesn't want mako to go. his expression is bleeding, clipped at the arteries. but. helping people is more important than whichever way his heart drifts. that has to be the reality. ) See you around.
( he says it, but he doesn't really mean it. the blue spirit falls out of newspapers and propaganda, essentially overnight.
it doesn't mean he stopped, though. he just stopped what he was doing. a solution to both stop evil doers, and to keep the police out of his plans, that's what he has to come up with. he can't rely on them to arrest criminals, because it makes mako's life hard, and it really only kicks the hornet's nest. that's what mako said, so dick. invests in a camera.
blackmail is the new name of the game. it's less strategic than cornering a half a dozen gang members, and most of the time results in dick getting his ass kicked to hell and back, but. it works, undeniably. he snaps pictures of the agni kai triade's leader engaging in what looks like a romantic encounter with one of the red monsoon's wives. he goes right back to agni kai triade, says if you don't want these pictures to get out, leave such and such neighborhood alone, and ... that's it. he makes it a small enough request that it doesn't cut back on their income too much. he doesn't request money, or drugs, or weapons. just leave these people alone, and the cops won't know anything.
then he starts asking for more.
the neighborhood gets gradually bigger, a larger portion protected. it gets somewhat sizable, before it all blows up in dick's face.
he's patrolling his usual spots. he knows mako's routine by heart and purposefully avoids it - not because he would be against seeing him, but because. it's hard. to think he isn't making his life harder, just by existing. hugging the shadows is smarter, remaining aloof and out of the headlines. they all believe the blue spirit has abandoned them, and they're ... better for it, dick thinks. mako's convinced him of that. a silent protector is better than one in the limelight. he's about to head to next position, but he doesn't realize he's being watched, tailed, cornered until it's too late.
bones break. he's never seen so much of his blood outside of his body before. multiple agni kai triade's take him out, not without a fight, but he's all too easy to overpower with the strength of numbers. they make their message known. leave the boss alone, or else. they leave his scarf on - his face is too bloody and swollen to recognize, anyway.
he comes to about half an hour later, rotting away with the garbage in an alleyway. it's almost midnight. he knows where he is. he knows mako will be here in another ten minutes, as long as he didn't take a cigarette break at the corner intersection ( he doesn't stalk him ). dick drags himself into the middle of the road, a streak of red following behind him, and waits to be discovered. )
( he walks out. that's what he does with relationships anyway. not that that's what this was, but there was a little promise there, like an acorn nested away in scorched ground, of something that might come of its humble beginnings. and he just can't deal with it. he can't deal with dick.
he stops. if it's a message, mako has no idea what to make of it. he knows he must have hurt him (idiot, why did he say those things? why does he always say those things?) and he just. feels miserable. enough that bolin comments on it, and they get snappish with each other, and what started out as a brotherly spat comes dangerously close to a brotherly feud. bolin moves out — he'd been planning on it anyway, but it. accelerates his plans a little. and mako just keeps feeling horrible.
he knows everything he needs to to march right up to wayne manor, knock on the door and ask for dick, but he doesn't.
the streets get a little calmer. it doesn't feel right, or natural, and it's got him on edge. the less crime there is in the hei bai district, the more antsy he gets, until he's practically ready to firebend at every shadow.
he smells the blood before he sees it. copper, thick and choking in the air. enough that when he breaks into a sprint and rounds the corner, he expects to find a body, but it. isn't one, it's just. a scarf he recognizes, and a collapsed lump in the middle of the street.
mako had to learn control. he didn't always have it. and that control is the only reason he doesn't stay rooted where he stands in horror. it's the thing that spurs him onward, it's the reason he doesn't gag at the blood and the damage when he picks him up. dick's heavier than he looks, for an airbender.
he doesn't say a word. just. runs. mentally mapping out what he can of the city. waterbenders. he needs a waterbender. korra's the best in the city but she's at asami's place, on the other side of the spirit portal crater in the middle. what he needs is a car.
luckily, the economy is booming. there are vehicles everywhere. mako busts out a window with his shoulder, cradles dick one-handed so he can open the door and then eases him into it. he wants to call him an idiot. what he does instead is murmur. nothing much of consequence. it's okay, you're going to be fine. over and over and over again.
hotwiring a car? no biggie. he's been doing that since he was a kid. he's torn between the need to drive fast because dick is beaten to the spirit world and back, and slow because he doesn't want to jostle him. at least there's no one else on the road, and any time he does encounter another vehicle mako signs a flame signal for the PD in the air and they back off. he doesn't exactly have lights and sirens, but it's an improvisation that works.
korra and asami are asleep upstairs, though not for long. and then it's just. everything is a blur.
the largest body of water in the house is asami's pool. dick slips in and out of consciousness, mako holds him (more like, korra can't pry him away) as she heals him. once she's done all she can, she tells him that all he can do now is rest. so mako carries him upstairs to one of asami's spare rooms, strips him out of the wet (née blooded) clothes and gets him into something else. then he just. sinks into a chair at the head of the bed, hand outflung against dick's wrist so he can track the flow of chi beneath his skin.
he realizes he didn't clock out at the end of his shift about the same time he passes out. beifong's gonna have his hide stapled to a desk for this one. )
( the most shocking thing about when he wakes up, is how not shitty he feels.
tim has healed him on occasion, small and secretive things under bed covers and when bruce can't see them, taking pity on heavier wounds from sparring. he isn't anti bending per say, bruce just doesn't like the idea of natural combatants to every bending, that whoever you are, you have a weakness everyone knows the second you shoot fire out of your hands. anyway. dick can recognize a water healer's touch easily enough, and he has the vague memories of it pouring back into the deep corners of his mind - the avatar healing him, asami soto at the front door, mako carrying him, and.
he shares glances with his unconscious form at his bedside, uncomfortably caved in on himself, sleeping sitting up. he was worried, dick can remember that much. he didn't hesitate to pick him up, although dick would never have imagined he'd just walk by - forgetting their own strange, short history ( history? ), mako just isn't the kind of person to leave someone on their deathbed. a part of him is disappointed, entirely in himself, because he hates imposing on mako like this. if there was another way, he would've been sure to take it. instead he's. making mako's life harder, again. giving another reason to crease the lines of his frown. more weight on his shoulders.
dick is considerate not to move, noting where they touch, and that any sudden move would wake mako which - isn't an option. the guy barely looks like he sleeps at all, dick can afford him a few hours of peace and quiet, gathering some shut eye. eventually he moves himself carefully, light as air, to slide his had out from mako's grasp. the blanket dick had been snuggled in gets lovingly draped around his shoulders, although it's more for comfort than warmth. firebenders really aren't lacking in that department.
if he wanted mako to sleep even more, he probably shouldn't have moved. but. he isn't someone who can just sit in bed and watch the guy he likes sleep. isn't possible. mako wakes up a little bit later, without the feeling of dick's chi to sing him lullabies, and dick is just poised in the window, sitting airily on the frame. )
Sorry. ( he blurts out, first and foremost, once he sees mako awake. embarrassed, he rubs the back of his neck. ) I didn't mean to put all this on you. But I really, really appreciate your help. Thanks, Meeks.
( he's not a heavy sleeper at the best (worst) of times, but he's tired, and asami's house with the avatar watching over them and his entire extended family in another wing is about the safest place he can imagine in republic city. so when his head dips against his chest he doesn't fight it, he just. lets himself drift.
he's completely disoriented when he wakes, dick's gone from beneath his hand, the sun has crept in across the floor, warming him with the whisper of its heat. there's. a blanket? tucked around him, and mako reels back from it as if it were the corpse of some creature rather than something meant as a comfort.
he's half out of the chair, awash in panic when dick speaks. and then he. settles. for a second. it doesn't last, and he's up and out of it a moment later. he wheels on dick, an accusatory finger leveled at him. )
You idiot. Do you have any idea how close you were to dying? If I hadn't found you when I did, I would have been carrying you to the city morgue!
( this is familiar to him. being yelled at, doing this incorrectly and being berated for it. but this feeling is - new. different. if he ever apologizes to bruce, he apologizes for getting caught, but. in this, he's just sorry. as sorry as a person could be, so sorry it feels like it's overwhelming him, flooding his pores and making a mockery of every time he's ever said sorry in his life. if he could take it all back in this very moment, he would. he's not thinking about the grief he saved the people of republic city - he's thinking about mako being upset, and knowing he's the one who put it there.
his eyes are wide before they dim, bright before they darken. he leans off the windowsill and into mako's space.
this man is still dick grayson, but he's minorly different from the snack hungry kiss drunk boy in the warehouse a few months ago. he looks tired, more than anything. he reaches a hand up to wrap around mako's pointing finger, looking down where they meet. )
I know.
( he doesn't care if mako plans on shoving him off - he just wraps an arm around his shoulders, a hand at the back of his head, embracing him. )
I didn't mean to worry you. I'm — so sorry. They caught me off guard, and I didn't know what else to do but. Wait. For you.
( there's no pushback. he'd been. expecting a fight. braced for it. so when none is forthcoming, it throws him off balance, like he's been struck by a burst of wind. enough to throw his balance off. but all dick does is wrap him up in his arms — and it has to hurt, for all that korra worked on him for what felt like an eternity.
and mako's just. he's worried. and upset, and angry — more at himself than dick, if he's being completely honest — and he can't help but curl into him like a kid on a cold night towards the only source of warmth. it's an enveloping embrace, he melts himself over dick like he can fill everywhere against his body there's an absence of air. )
It's not about worrying me.
( because of course dick says it like it's the most important thing. of course he does. )
( he pulls back momentarily, hands on mako's shoulders, sharing looks between each of his goldenrod, genuine eyes. dick always wears his emotions on his sleeve, never fully learned the lesson bruce tried to teach him about acting aloof or mysterious. his eyebrows knit, drawn like sparring fighters, and he just. reclaims mako, hugs him tighter than he had before, arms thrown across his shoulders almost desperately.
he missed him. and he only realizes it now, after weeks and weeks of exhausting himself, of trying to convince himself their brief fling meant as little as mako lead him to believe. but it just. it didn't. dick likes him even more now than he did before, and he messed up, and he literally, literally could've died if mako hadn't been there, if he didn't know the avatar, if a million other things that all lead up to the same thisness of the moment didn't happen. it hits him like a satomobile, knocking the wind out of him. he almost died. died. )
I. ( a little choked out against him. his shoulders quake, but he doesn't cry. ) I was scared. I thought I was going to die. Damn.
( a semi hysterical, mostly breathy laugh. )
Bruce would've killed me if I died. Crap. I have to go home. He's gonna be so mad at me.
( mako doesn't have any words of comfort for that. nothing sage or saintly to say. he did almost die, and there would have been no coming back from that, and it would have been it. mako might never have even known it happened if the gang had even halfly tried to cover it up. thrown the body into the bay.
his brow furrows, he takes a breath that feels like inhaling glass. )
I can talk to him. Tell him you were assisting in an investigation or something.
( he has no idea what bruce is like behind closed doors, and he'd be naive to think that his public persona is his private one. varrick is both at once, but there can't be two varricks out there. every famous person in republic city has the side they show the press and the side they show their friends and family. the fact that he specifies mad at me makes him. not like the concept behind the glitz very much, though. )
( he laughs. moment of weakness over. he could’ve died but he’s alive, and that’s the important thing he chooses to focus on - death looked him in the eye, and the avatar helped him snarl back. the avatar, man. he peels back from mako, lightly leaning back against the window, a flamboyant wave of his hand shooing the thought away. )
No, you — you’ve already done more than enough, seriously. ( more work for mako? no, thanks. ) I’ll get it sorted. I always do.
( truthfully, bruce won’t be mad, at least not beyond dick disobeying instruction, since he won’t be hearing about the rest of it. dick just has memories of breaking chandeliers and priceless family heirlooms, when he was a child and wanted to climb on everything in sight. he once busted the bannister in the main hall by jumping on it. bruce was not ... thrilled.
anyway, he doesn’t know what to say to mako now that apologies are out of the way. he shuffles his feet awkwardly, eyes cast down. )
It’s, uh. It’s good to see you, though. Been awhile.
( that's. what? no. that's not the end of it, dick can't just walk away from the consequences with a coy waggle of his fingers. it's so... irreverent. obviously, obviously it affected him, in ways that will be long and lingering, but. mako just. chases after him, pulling him back away from the window, hands on his shoulders. grip a little tight.
he just doesn't know what to do with dick now that he has him there. there are a million things he wants to say, a million more he wants to do. instead he says and does absolutely nothing, and there's an awkward, wayward silence that scuttles between them like a spirit, devoid of sound and substance.
mako clears his throat and loosens his grip. enough to let him go, though it takes him a reluctant moment to step back. )
Well, I figured you wouldn't want to see me after. Everything.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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he's in the locker rooms with the other guys all the time. if he can handle it when beifong walks in like she owns the place and everyone jumps to attention regardless of the status of clothing or towels, he can put up with one airbender — a criminal stripping down in his vicinity.
but. he does spare a sideways glance for those scars.
mako's been roughed up plenty. his left arm up to the elbow is a fractured lichtenberg pattern, loudly proclaiming the pathways of least resistance that lightning took beneath his skin as it cooked the meat of him from the inside out. and he has a few others, knife-wounds, places where bolin winged him with sharp little discs of rocks during their training. mostly, what he's gotten in the last few years korra's healed or he's ignored.
dick's body is a graveyard of remembered hurts. a few burns that draw the eye, and make him clench his hands involuntarily. but the vast majority aren't bending injuries at all. and they're sure as hell things an airbender should have been able to avoid, cuts and stab-marks, stuttering suggestions of a blade along the parapets of his ribs. it tells a story, but mako doesn't have the cipher yet. the characters aren't in a language he knows how to read. but he knows suffering when he sees it, and years of pain, and everything else inherent in the map of all this misery. and it's not like they're all fresh, either. dick's his age, roughly, and these date back at least ten years. maybe more.
the reaction that caused him to blush suddenly feels very childish, and completely out of place. mako closes his eyes briefly, pulling himself back to center. )
Even if I were crooked, there wouldn't be much you could do about it. You still can't know for sure.
( beifong runs a tight ship, and most of the officers under her are afraid of her — with good reason. but mako knows there are... things that fall through the cracks. they don't live in a perfect world, and a cop's wages sure aren't as flush as a criminal's. he has his suspicions about a few of his brothers and sisters in arms because he knows how it goes. you take a bribe once, and that's it. the triads own you. and then they remind you again, and again, and again, and if you ever try to pull back from it, they threaten not just you, but your family. everyone you love. and you capitulate, or you die. mako had to walk a tightrope just to stay more-or-less on decent terms with the triple threats even after he became a cop, because he knows that they'd never go after him. it'd be straight to bolin, or asami. they wouldn't touch korra, they know all too well how easily she'd win that fight. but the others... even talented fighters can be overwhelmed by sheer numbers. it's something mako lives in constant fear of. it's. one of the reasons he hasn't gone as hard after them as he could. maybe as he should have. )
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( he just knows these things, like the wind knows a chill's name on the back burn of a breeze - he could pick a crook out at a hundred paces, just by the look in their eye. mako doesn't have the same type of swagger. that's not to say he radiates a good boy type of personality, because you could see the wear and tear of a burdened life weighing down his shoulders into an expected frown, but there are things that even a life of hardship can't conceal - the genuine gleam of goodness resting in the shine of mako's eyes, something like hope layered on top of it's (un)healthy dosage of exhaustion. he sees a man before him who still wants to see the good in people, despite being shown all the ways in which people have steered off the path of righteous peace. he also sees an orphan who ate up a lot of trauma as a kid, and just wants to spit out something nicer than what he was given.
profoundly, dick relates to this.
clothes settled into place, dick takes lengthy, floating steps over to where mako is seated, and plops down just beside him. dick's attire is humble, but his cologne is expensive. )
I have a present for you. Do you want it? ( blushing, ) I won't get sad if you say no, but you'll want to say yes.
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Sure. Go nuts.
( it could be a thousand things, the least of which is a trap. but. there wouldn't be any point. his guard isn't down, but. he's called for a cessation of immediate suspicion, which is about as close as mako ever gets around someone who isn't bolin or korra and asami on... good days. he doesn't think it's anything dangerous, but given what he knows of airbenders... maybe a prank. the one thing he doesn't think dick is is thoughtless. )
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it's a name he'll be familiar with, just in it's existence rather than any substantial knowledge on the subject - there are easy facts that are well known among gossip tabloids. bruce wayne's ward, a man in the limelight who keeps his kids out of it. really, there's no proof dick has other than word of tongue, but based on mako's earlier criteria - a wealthy benefactor, intimate knowledge of the city - it makes a decent amount of sense that it should be true. whether he believes it is up to him, but you know.
at least he has something to call dick, now. he leans back on his palms again, looking warmly back at him. )
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dick grayson.
he knows the name, he knows the implication. what he doesn't know is the why. he was never going to get that close on his own, because even if he'd guessed that bruce wayne — one of asami's biggest rivals after varrick — was letting his son run around at night capture criminals, he wouldn't have put it together.
and dick seals it with a kiss against his cheek, a spot that feels firebender-hot now to the touch, and mako just. rubs. at it. a little more softly than he might had it been anyone else. because dick just handed him the keys to the kingdom, really. he has everything he needs to march up to wayne manor, kick the door in and handcuff him, drag him out into the street and to the station without so much as a by-your-leave. he knows he's an airbender, and how to counter that.
(chains. you have to put them in chains.)
his brain circles back around to the earlier criteria of date.
then, almost in an accusatory tone, strangled and a little. high-pitched. )
You were serious about that date thing.
( all signs say yes. mako's love life has only three speeds: people throwing themselves at him, people ignoring him, or people hating him after he inevitably fucks it all up. he hasn't quite worked out the whole... attraction thing, because mostly he just crushes hard on people he can't have and that's the end of it. )
Why?
( as if he isn't sure if he should be questioning dick's taste or his sanity. it's so bizarre. bruce wayne's sons could have anyone. this is the thing that feels like a trick, to him. )
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I've answered that already. I like you. You want another answer, is that it? Let's see ...
( there's an evident truth, poised delicately on the tip of his tongue like dick grayson before any of his daring leaps of faith off building ledges. he hesitates to bring it up. it's not - weakness, exactly, but it is an extended hand, an offer that would ... hurt, frankly, if mako were to deny or ignore it. it wouldn't be entirely his fault, to be honest. dick isn't used to the sensation of welcoming people in, all too frequent a friend of misguiding conversations away from the serious, ducking and diving under playful language when the going gets too tough.
he kind of says a mental fuck it to all that, though, and shrugs his shoulders. )
I don't have a lot of people I'm close to, really. I guess I kind of clung to you.
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but he's. been handed something precious, and mako just doesn't have it in him to crush it. he doesn't like disappointing people. bolin really had that one right, all those years ago, didn't he? he takes a deep breath. )
Dick... ( he has a name, now. it's a bit of a thrill, using it. ) I'm flattered. Really. But you barely know anything about me, and you're... well, kind of a criminal. Even though I believe your intentions are good, the law's something I've sworn my life to upholding. I can't. Ignore that.
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You know, if you really had to know someone before you were allowed to like them, then no one would ever like anyone.
( he vaguely wiggles his shoulders, countering the foundation of mako's argument. it's not like he proposed marriage, or anything. he's just looked at mako and only seen things that he likes. )
And anyway, I know a lot about you. Obviously I've done my research. ( mako's been fairly in the spotlight in the last few years, with his connections to the avatar, and knack for saving the world as they know it. it isn't, or at least wasn't, hard to find him in the newspaper, first in his pro bending days, and then in his glory day of heroics. dick's read up on every archive he can, really. ) The point is that I've got an entire police force on my tail at any given time, but I've only taken an interest in you.
Conclusion: I like you! You can't tell me I don't. It's obvious, Mako. Open those pretty eyes.
( constantly in motion, on someone else it'd be fidgeting, but on dick it's just. a lace curtain blowing in the wind, following the flow of life. he leans back on his palms, chin on his shoulder, a sleazy smile tugged up his lips. )
And while we're at it, I really don't consider myself a criminal. Alright? What else have you got? I can sling back and forth with you all day, but really, I'd prefer to just kiss you some more.
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he's not so good at following his heart. it's gotten him in pretty deep trouble over the years, and rarely out of it. mako can't return the affections, not like this. dick has been nothing but a frustration to him for weeks, he only just learned his name. that's not a basis for anything real. it's barely a basis to be here now, talking to him absent the jangling of cuffs.
not that he has his cuffs, anyway. he used them on the mooks in the store.
but it's. been a long time since anyone reached out to him like this. mako has modeled himself on beifong but he doesn't want to be like her, alone and bitter and buried in his work. he misses love. being in love, having someone to kiss and say soft things to. just because he wasn't good at it doesn't mean his brief experiences with it weren't. some of the best of his life.
he's too controlled to let fire spark under his hands, but he can feel the building thrum of it beneath the skin, coiled like a quiescent thing. alive, waiting. that's what a lot of non-benders don't realize about fire, it's not about letting it out, it's about keeping it in. you have to want to control it. you have to need to endure it, because the second there's an outlet and the slightest slip of your hands, you can burn the world to iron and ash at your feet. he's wished more than once, over the years, that dragons never gave fire to humanity. all they've done is ruin what could have been — should have been a gift. the element of power, but also one of death and war and pain and loss. he wears his heritage like a scar.
and all he can think about as he looks down at his hands is how air feeds it. and how its absence extinguishes. and then he bridges the small space between them, cups dick's cheeks in his hands and kisses him. in another life, maybe it would be a passionate thing, heat and fire and cinders, heat beneath his palms. but this one is just. tentative, like walking a tightrope in a storm. trying to find balance. )
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it probably isn't fair for dick to say he's surprised. he did, literally, ask for it. he still doesn't think it's coming, even when mako has his hands on either side of his face, even when there's only a hair's breath between their mouths, and he can taste the hesitance of mako's lips, and mako can taste the surety on his own. it's only when that short line is crossed that dick has any inclination towards how much he actually wanted to kiss him. he didn't notice his hands balling up to not move forward too much too fast, didn't realize the clench in his jaw that actively kept him from slamming his mouth up against mako's. but. a single kiss lets it all be known, aired out in the space between them like embers flying off a campfire when you blow on the wood. the tension dissolves, parted into the wind. dick is less a person and more an element, the chemical construct of their molecules meeting and melting together.
air didn't always inspire fire. at the dawn of time, fire had to accept it first, and set a precedent for the forever ages of science. if dick thinks about it, it's a pretty sweet love story.
but he isn't thinking about it. or much of anything, really, other than the heat exuding off mako like a furnace and how comforting he finds that, placing a hand innocently on mako's waist, the other wrapping around his wrist. just holding him there, soft and sure. if mako's kiss was a question, dick's returning one is an answer - and the only answer is yes, to whatever he's got.
it isn't a heavy kiss, so when they part, it isn't with panting breaths. dick just turns his head to kiss the center of his palm, blushing a little goofily into it. he really didn't think mako would do that. )
Do you want to go on the roof? It's a little more romantic. ( it definitely has to be a date now, right. he gets a little more boisterous in his grin, kissing mako's wrist. ) Although, I think I've pretty much got the best seat in the house, looking at you.
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duty chases at his heels. a guilty tattoo like beaten drums. it's not quite sleeping with the enemy, but.
he lifts his eyes to dick as he sits back, palm tingling where he pressed his mouth against it. such a soft, worshipful gesture, and mako just. doesn't feel worthy of it, right now.
up on the roof, he asks, as if setting whatever this is now between them free into the night sky and the sparks of a coming dawn is an inevitable conclusion. the rising sun is meant to energize firebenders. most of the ones he knows are morning people, very few of them abide the empty night. it's a siren song. yet right now, he feels. such an odd, swelling dichotomy of things. he's tired, but he isn't interested in sleep. his hand aches, but he feels light. guilt is a shackle, but it's the only thing keeping him anchored.
he's just so fucking confused. he shakes his head, though he doesn't have it in him to reclaim his wrist as dick kisses it. )
I need you to stop interfering with police business. Don't be coy. I know you know what I mean.
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( it's a soft thing, feigned disappointment, although dick really couldn't be unhappy if he tried. mako kissed him! he feels the same way he felt when he first stuck a landing without the guide of airbending, and his mother and father both called him robin for how he flew. his stomach feels done up in the same number of excited, exhilarated knots, all tangled like vines going down his throat. he can't seem to wipe the smug look off his face, endlessly pleased, even with the distance now between them. dick won't see it last. he shrugs his shoulder, free hand moving up to cup mako's cheek. )
You don't sound like you're willing to compromise. ( mako is taller than him, but dick is thicker in every aspect. he cranes into him, foreheads almost touching, keeping mako situated beside him. ) You want something? Give something up. That's how this works.
( really, he just wants to take mako out on a date - date date, gross rundown buildings aside. still, he'll hear out whatever dumb offering mako has, and quietly correct his thought process later. )
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If you know a lot about me like you said, then you should know that just being here is a compromise.
( he hadn't meant for it to sound hurt, but it does. he hasn't bothered discussing his feelings with. anyone, for a while. not since korra left for the spirit world, where he told her he would follow her into any war across any world, any lifetime. since then he's just been. a cop. a brother, sometimes. but mostly a cop, with no personal attachments, no personal time and certainly nothing resembling romance. he wasn't articulate to begin with, but now he's so rusty he may as well be learning from the ground up. cool under fire, and yet — )
Everything I am is telling me to arrest you. I'm not. That's my compromise. I'm not even telling you you can't keep doing what you're doing, I just want you to do it by the books. You told me that's what you like about me; that I'm not crooked. You don't think you're a criminal, but according to the laws I swore to uphold? Yeah, you are. What you're asking me to do is accept a bribe. I don't care if it's not money, it's still. Something. And then I, what, look the other way? Don't put that on me. You're asking more of me than you can imagine.
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dick relates. this isn't that, but he gets it. )
Mako. ( softly, and then louder. ) Mako, I was flirting with you. I wasn't serious.
( maybe dick is the one who's not being clear. his eyebrows knit together, turning his hand to crack his knuckles on his chin.
if this is what mako would prefer to talk about, then fine. dick's visage droops into something more introspective, something more solemn. they're at least this far in agreement - emotions are hard. )
You don't really see me as a criminal, do you? ( it's more than a little upsetting. ) All I want to do is help people. Even if I did join the police force, I think I'd still keep up this persona, because. There's just some people the police can't help. Following the books doesn't always save lives. That's my priority. If that makes me a criminal, then I guess I'm a criminal.
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mako rubs at the bridge of his nose. he knows dick sounds. hurt. but he also doesn't seem to get the seriousness of the situation. somewhere in all of this, mako has gotten back to his feet, hands clenched. he's angrier than he realized he was. yelling is a poor man's catharsis, so he doesn't quite resort to that, but he does raise his voice a little, hating that he does. )
You beat up Republic City citizens and dump them on our doorstep. It isn't up to you to be the judge of what's right and what's wrong, that's why jurisprudence exists in the first place. I know that you're catching criminals. But every person you've brought in, we've had to release because we don't have any evidence of their wrongdoing! And every time I've brought you in for assault and battery and police obstruction, you escape. Evading arrest is a crime too, you know!
( he has to draw a breath. it's. an effort. he does, he realizes, genuinely like dick. he hasn't sorted out how he feels about kissing him yet, but he knows he's a good person with his heart in the right place, even if the rest of him maybe isn't. )
I know you mean well. But you're making it harder for me to do my job. And frankly? It's incredibly naive of you to think you're making a difference. All you're doing is sabotaging the system in a way that benefits the criminals you're trying to take down.
( he can't. be here anymore. talking about this, talking like this. he's mad at dick and at himself for even coming here in the first place, he needs air and to feel the sun on his skin, he needs coffee and a fucking cigarette and about ten years of sleep. )
I should go.
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more than anything, that resonates with him. he kind of zones out the rest to be perfectly honest, focusing on that with a laser point accuracy that would make an sharpshooter fear for their lives. he only ever wanted to help. no, he didn't want to help the police, because at the end of all things, he doesn't trust the system it was built upon. perhaps in its infancy it worked, but when people learn methods, they learn loopholes, and the concept of the police has been exploited on, now. from inside as much as the outside. he doesn't want to make mako's job harder, but he can't just sit by and do nothing. he won't.
he responds too late when mako says he should go, lost in his own thoughts. when he realizes something's been said, he snaps back, smiling apologetically. ) Huh? Oh, yeah. ( he doesn't want mako to go. his expression is bleeding, clipped at the arteries. but. helping people is more important than whichever way his heart drifts. that has to be the reality. ) See you around.
( he says it, but he doesn't really mean it. the blue spirit falls out of newspapers and propaganda, essentially overnight.
it doesn't mean he stopped, though. he just stopped what he was doing. a solution to both stop evil doers, and to keep the police out of his plans, that's what he has to come up with. he can't rely on them to arrest criminals, because it makes mako's life hard, and it really only kicks the hornet's nest. that's what mako said, so dick. invests in a camera.
blackmail is the new name of the game. it's less strategic than cornering a half a dozen gang members, and most of the time results in dick getting his ass kicked to hell and back, but. it works, undeniably. he snaps pictures of the agni kai triade's leader engaging in what looks like a romantic encounter with one of the red monsoon's wives. he goes right back to agni kai triade, says if you don't want these pictures to get out, leave such and such neighborhood alone, and ... that's it. he makes it a small enough request that it doesn't cut back on their income too much. he doesn't request money, or drugs, or weapons. just leave these people alone, and the cops won't know anything.
then he starts asking for more.
the neighborhood gets gradually bigger, a larger portion protected. it gets somewhat sizable, before it all blows up in dick's face.
he's patrolling his usual spots. he knows mako's routine by heart and purposefully avoids it - not because he would be against seeing him, but because. it's hard. to think he isn't making his life harder, just by existing. hugging the shadows is smarter, remaining aloof and out of the headlines. they all believe the blue spirit has abandoned them, and they're ... better for it, dick thinks. mako's convinced him of that. a silent protector is better than one in the limelight. he's about to head to next position, but he doesn't realize he's being watched, tailed, cornered until it's too late.
bones break. he's never seen so much of his blood outside of his body before. multiple agni kai triade's take him out, not without a fight, but he's all too easy to overpower with the strength of numbers. they make their message known. leave the boss alone, or else. they leave his scarf on - his face is too bloody and swollen to recognize, anyway.
he comes to about half an hour later, rotting away with the garbage in an alleyway. it's almost midnight. he knows where he is. he knows mako will be here in another ten minutes, as long as he didn't take a cigarette break at the corner intersection ( he doesn't stalk him ). dick drags himself into the middle of the road, a streak of red following behind him, and waits to be discovered. )
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he stops. if it's a message, mako has no idea what to make of it. he knows he must have hurt him (idiot, why did he say those things? why does he always say those things?) and he just. feels miserable. enough that bolin comments on it, and they get snappish with each other, and what started out as a brotherly spat comes dangerously close to a brotherly feud. bolin moves out — he'd been planning on it anyway, but it. accelerates his plans a little. and mako just keeps feeling horrible.
he knows everything he needs to to march right up to wayne manor, knock on the door and ask for dick, but he doesn't.
the streets get a little calmer. it doesn't feel right, or natural, and it's got him on edge. the less crime there is in the hei bai district, the more antsy he gets, until he's practically ready to firebend at every shadow.
he smells the blood before he sees it. copper, thick and choking in the air. enough that when he breaks into a sprint and rounds the corner, he expects to find
a body, but it. isn't one, it's just. a scarf he recognizes, and a collapsed lump in the middle of the street.
mako had to learn control. he didn't always have it. and that control is the only reason he doesn't stay rooted where he stands in horror. it's the thing that spurs him onward, it's the reason he doesn't gag at the blood and the damage when he picks him up. dick's heavier than he looks, for an airbender.
he doesn't say a word. just. runs. mentally mapping out what he can of the city. waterbenders. he needs a waterbender. korra's the best in the city but she's at asami's place, on the other side of the spirit portal crater in the middle. what he needs is a car.
luckily, the economy is booming. there are vehicles everywhere. mako busts out a window with his shoulder, cradles dick one-handed so he can open the door and then eases him into it. he wants to call him an idiot. what he does instead is murmur. nothing much of consequence. it's okay, you're going to be fine. over and over and over again.
hotwiring a car? no biggie. he's been doing that since he was a kid. he's torn between the need to drive fast because dick is beaten to the spirit world and back, and slow because he doesn't want to jostle him. at least there's no one else on the road, and any time he does encounter another vehicle mako signs a flame signal for the PD in the air and they back off. he doesn't exactly have lights and sirens, but it's an improvisation that works.
korra and asami are asleep upstairs, though not for long. and then it's just. everything is a blur.
the largest body of water in the house is asami's pool. dick slips in and out of consciousness, mako holds him (more like, korra can't pry him away) as she heals him. once she's done all she can, she tells him that all he can do now is rest. so mako carries him upstairs to one of asami's spare rooms, strips him out of the wet (née blooded) clothes and gets him into something else. then he just. sinks into a chair at the head of the bed, hand outflung against dick's wrist so he can track the flow of chi beneath his skin.
he realizes he didn't clock out at the end of his shift about the same time he passes out. beifong's gonna have his hide stapled to a desk for this one. )
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tim has healed him on occasion, small and secretive things under bed covers and when bruce can't see them, taking pity on heavier wounds from sparring. he isn't anti bending per say, bruce just doesn't like the idea of natural combatants to every bending, that whoever you are, you have a weakness everyone knows the second you shoot fire out of your hands. anyway. dick can recognize a water healer's touch easily enough, and he has the vague memories of it pouring back into the deep corners of his mind - the avatar healing him, asami soto at the front door, mako carrying him, and.
he shares glances with his unconscious form at his bedside, uncomfortably caved in on himself, sleeping sitting up. he was worried, dick can remember that much. he didn't hesitate to pick him up, although dick would never have imagined he'd just walk by - forgetting their own strange, short history ( history? ), mako just isn't the kind of person to leave someone on their deathbed. a part of him is disappointed, entirely in himself, because he hates imposing on mako like this. if there was another way, he would've been sure to take it. instead he's. making mako's life harder, again. giving another reason to crease the lines of his frown. more weight on his shoulders.
dick is considerate not to move, noting where they touch, and that any sudden move would wake mako which - isn't an option. the guy barely looks like he sleeps at all, dick can afford him a few hours of peace and quiet, gathering some shut eye. eventually he moves himself carefully, light as air, to slide his had out from mako's grasp. the blanket dick had been snuggled in gets lovingly draped around his shoulders, although it's more for comfort than warmth. firebenders really aren't lacking in that department.
if he wanted mako to sleep even more, he probably shouldn't have moved. but. he isn't someone who can just sit in bed and watch the guy he likes sleep. isn't possible. mako wakes up a little bit later, without the feeling of dick's chi to sing him lullabies, and dick is just poised in the window, sitting airily on the frame. )
Sorry. ( he blurts out, first and foremost, once he sees mako awake. embarrassed, he rubs the back of his neck. ) I didn't mean to put all this on you. But I really, really appreciate your help. Thanks, Meeks.
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he's completely disoriented when he wakes, dick's gone from beneath his hand, the sun has crept in across the floor, warming him with the whisper of its heat. there's. a blanket? tucked around him, and mako reels back from it as if it were the corpse of some creature rather than something meant as a comfort.
he's half out of the chair, awash in panic when dick speaks. and then he. settles. for a second. it doesn't last, and he's up and out of it a moment later. he wheels on dick, an accusatory finger leveled at him. )
You idiot. Do you have any idea how close you were to dying? If I hadn't found you when I did, I would have been carrying you to the city morgue!
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his eyes are wide before they dim, bright before they darken. he leans off the windowsill and into mako's space.
this man is still dick grayson, but he's minorly different from the snack hungry kiss drunk boy in the warehouse a few months ago. he looks tired, more than anything. he reaches a hand up to wrap around mako's pointing finger, looking down where they meet. )
I know.
( he doesn't care if mako plans on shoving him off - he just wraps an arm around his shoulders, a hand at the back of his head, embracing him. )
I didn't mean to worry you. I'm — so sorry. They caught me off guard, and I didn't know what else to do but. Wait. For you.
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and mako's just. he's worried. and upset, and angry — more at himself than dick, if he's being completely honest — and he can't help but curl into him like a kid on a cold night towards the only source of warmth. it's an enveloping embrace, he melts himself over dick like he can fill everywhere against his body there's an absence of air. )
It's not about worrying me.
( because of course dick says it like it's the most important thing. of course he does. )
It's about the fact that you got hurt.
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he missed him. and he only realizes it now, after weeks and weeks of exhausting himself, of trying to convince himself their brief fling meant as little as mako lead him to believe. but it just. it didn't. dick likes him even more now than he did before, and he messed up, and he literally, literally could've died if mako hadn't been there, if he didn't know the avatar, if a million other things that all lead up to the same thisness of the moment didn't happen. it hits him like a satomobile, knocking the wind out of him. he almost died. died. )
I. ( a little choked out against him. his shoulders quake, but he doesn't cry. ) I was scared. I thought I was going to die. Damn.
( a semi hysterical, mostly breathy laugh. )
Bruce would've killed me if I died. Crap. I have to go home. He's gonna be so mad at me.
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his brow furrows, he takes a breath that feels like inhaling glass. )
I can talk to him. Tell him you were assisting in an investigation or something.
( he has no idea what bruce is like behind closed doors, and he'd be naive to think that his public persona is his private one. varrick is both at once, but there can't be two varricks out there. every famous person in republic city has the side they show the press and the side they show their friends and family. the fact that he specifies mad at me makes him. not like the concept behind the glitz very much, though. )
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No, you — you’ve already done more than enough, seriously. ( more work for mako? no, thanks. ) I’ll get it sorted. I always do.
( truthfully, bruce won’t be mad, at least not beyond dick disobeying instruction, since he won’t be hearing about the rest of it. dick just has memories of breaking chandeliers and priceless family heirlooms, when he was a child and wanted to climb on everything in sight. he once busted the bannister in the main hall by jumping on it. bruce was not ... thrilled.
anyway, he doesn’t know what to say to mako now that apologies are out of the way. he shuffles his feet awkwardly, eyes cast down. )
It’s, uh. It’s good to see you, though. Been awhile.
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he just doesn't know what to do with dick now that he has him there. there are a million things he wants to say, a million more he wants to do. instead he says and does absolutely nothing, and there's an awkward, wayward silence that scuttles between them like a spirit, devoid of sound and substance.
mako clears his throat and loosens his grip. enough to let him go, though it takes him a reluctant moment to step back. )
Well, I figured you wouldn't want to see me after. Everything.
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