( he's silent. letting her talk. she dips her feet into the pool and mako, at length, pulls his shoes off too to do the same. he doesn't love water the way she does, but it's... a companion, in a way, and he eases in up to the ankles, watching the way the water distorts.
he just listens. when she mentions the letters, he reaches out to put his hand atop hers, rubbing at her knuckles. because even if they aren't. dating. he still knows how she likes to be touched.
it's. hard. hearing that. but maybe not for the reason she would think. he absolutely hates the idea of her being in pain, of her suffering, the mere thought of her wanting to die. but. there are other things there, too, woven into the fabric of who he is versus who she is, that just can't line up on these issues. the jagged edges don't align. he hears, i wished i could have crawled into a hole to die and mako realizes that she's never. lost anyone. not really.
because he understands that no matter how wretched you are, no matter how terrible those hours might be, when you have the choice between letting someone go or holding them tightly, you always chose to hold them. always. it's not about memories, it's not about maintaining a perfect image of who they are or were, it's. it's about being there. it's about loving them. you fight for every minute you get to spend, every breath. in a way, he's glad she never had to learn that the hard way. but as much as his hurt is for her, there's. one small, faint whisper of it that makes him sad for the child he was, the man he could have been.
he closes his eyes, and feels about ten thousand years old. it's a weight in his chest, lead-heavy, and breathing is. a struggle. he shifts, from holding her hand to wrapping his arm around her shoulders pulling her in. )
I love you.
( it's worth saying. soft affirmation. he does love her. always will. and if she dies before him he'll love the next avatar, too. but doing so would break him in a way that couldn't be mended. )
But what I choose, or Bolin chooses to remember of you isn't for you to decide. I know how hard it must have been, living like that. But you weren't... protecting me by staying away, Korra. I would rather have been there. A million times over if it meant sharing even an ounce of that burden with you. I can take you being angry, or hating me, or wanting to die, or feeling useless. The only thing I can't take is dead.
( it's the one intolerance, the one unconscionable outcome. )
I know you don't want people to see you when you're vulnerable. Believe me, I get that. But being vulnerable is just... being human. You might be the Avatar, but you're still human ( a soft tap of her shoulder for emphasis, )first. There's nothing shameful in needing help. If you'd do anything for someone, you have to respect them enough to accept that they might want to do the same for you.
( korra wouldn't have left his side, if he'd been the one poisoned. he doesn't think he could have sent her away for anything. he feels like a really lousy person, much less a friend, realizing that. and so he shakes his head. )
no subject
he just listens. when she mentions the letters, he reaches out to put his hand atop hers, rubbing at her knuckles. because even if they aren't. dating. he still knows how she likes to be touched.
it's. hard. hearing that. but maybe not for the reason she would think. he absolutely hates the idea of her being in pain, of her suffering, the mere thought of her wanting to die. but. there are other things there, too, woven into the fabric of who he is versus who she is, that just can't line up on these issues. the jagged edges don't align. he hears, i wished i could have crawled into a hole to die and mako realizes that she's never. lost anyone. not really.
because he understands that no matter how wretched you are, no matter how terrible those hours might be, when you have the choice between letting someone go or holding them tightly, you always chose to hold them. always. it's not about memories, it's not about maintaining a perfect image of who they are or were, it's. it's about being there. it's about loving them. you fight for every minute you get to spend, every breath. in a way, he's glad she never had to learn that the hard way. but as much as his hurt is for her, there's. one small, faint whisper of it that makes him sad for the child he was, the man he could have been.
he closes his eyes, and feels about ten thousand years old. it's a weight in his chest, lead-heavy, and breathing is. a struggle. he shifts, from holding her hand to wrapping his arm around her shoulders pulling her in. )
I love you.
( it's worth saying. soft affirmation. he does love her. always will. and if she dies before him he'll love the next avatar, too. but doing so would break him in a way that couldn't be mended. )
But what I choose, or Bolin chooses to remember of you isn't for you to decide. I know how hard it must have been, living like that. But you weren't... protecting me by staying away, Korra. I would rather have been there. A million times over if it meant sharing even an ounce of that burden with you. I can take you being angry, or hating me, or wanting to die, or feeling useless. The only thing I can't take is dead.
( it's the one intolerance, the one unconscionable outcome. )
I know you don't want people to see you when you're vulnerable. Believe me, I get that. But being vulnerable is just... being human. You might be the Avatar, but you're still human ( a soft tap of her shoulder for emphasis, ) first. There's nothing shameful in needing help. If you'd do anything for someone, you have to respect them enough to accept that they might want to do the same for you.
( korra wouldn't have left his side, if he'd been the one poisoned. he doesn't think he could have sent her away for anything. he feels like a really lousy person, much less a friend, realizing that. and so he shakes his head. )
What's this about hallucinations?